Do you believe in Love? I do... Always have. I had one of the best teacher's. I had a discussion this past weekend about the extreme difference between love and hate. I was told that when somebody hates something, it is an absolute fact. There is no sliding scale on hate... You either hate it or don't. You do not hate something a little bit... but love... I was told that love is questionable. That when you are told you are loved you can question the level of love that person is referencing. I disagree. When I tell you I love you. I mean it. I will love you through the ugly, the messy, the chaos, the unlovable moments... when you are ugly on the inside and outside. My love has no sliding scale. It is not questionable. I also take it very seriously. Love that is. I like to think everyone is that way. I am learning that is not the case. Embarking on this journey that has taken me through ups and downs, weaving, and embankments I have learned that not everyone Loves the way I do. I am humbly disappointed in this. I am also grateful that I did not know this until now. I had the privilege of being loved with someones whole heart. He did not leave me for another woman, he did not abandon us, he died. Does it hurt? Hell yes... Did it keep me from wanting to love? Hell NO. Jeff taught me how to love and love with all my heart. I think he would be disappointed in the way that some have acted since his passing in regards to how they have loved us. We all cope in a different manner, I choose to leave the negative alone and focus on the positive. The lessons I have acquired. The life lessons that are making me a better ME. I plan on loving as much as I can....
I love you Josh... You love me through my crazy moments and make me smile. I say over and over how lucky I am to have you and the girls and I look forward to getting to know your little guy soon. I always want to enhance your life. I know that you are a gift... I treasure you !!! Thank you for continuing to be there for me and my boys and allowing us to celebrate Jeff. You honor him in such a way that makes me fall in love with you over and over and over again... I can't wait to keep making memories and blending our families together and making plans.
This is how I feel... I was cracked, broken and never thought I would be happy again... My soul is being restored and my spirit is not broken...
Love the one you are with... Always say I love you !!!
Love,
Michelle and the Gang of H's with a few Ptak's hanging around
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