Isn't that the ultimate goal? To become " your highest self " Can that even be accomplished? Once we achieve our personal goals, do we continue to set the bar at an unreachable high? These are things that ponder my thoughts and keep me up at night.
Pain, the ultimate game changer. The emotional pain, the physical pain, the emotional pain, the spiritual pain, the people in your life that can be a pain... We all experience it. I have determined that a reasonable amount of pain, whether it be physical or psychological is somewhat healthy. Pain can help us feel again when we have become numb from the experiences that life throws at us. It can open our eyes to see things from a new perspective. I witnessed this morning a small child that is battling brain cancer. He is fragile to say the least. He is pale, sick, and going through what most of us could not even bear to think of... He must first endure that pain to get to the next level, the game changer, to become healthy again. Do we interpret that as positive or negative. Honestly, it breaks my heart to see him. Such a sweet innocent child, but I know that he will emerge through that pain and be healed. His outlook is positive, and long term it is curable. So, again, I plague you with pain... positive or negative?
I meant to do a special blog on my sweet Lola's birthday, but as usual life handed me a box of chocolate and I had no idea what I was gonna get that day. I did get to fly to Atlanta on Friday before her birthday and see her and squishy and my sissy and Isaac and got some GA love and then flew home. Too short, I miss them terribly. I got to grab a hug from my daddy-o too. Good lovin' Missed seeing my mom, but it was short notice and I grab her on my next fly by...
This quote is so true. I had to take Nick to see his psychiatrist on Monday. We entered into a situation with Nick that is not favorable right now. We are tapering off Thorazine and adding another medication in a couple of weeks. They are also adding an additional diagnosis ( as if he needs another dx ) Tourette's... Yippy. So, we still have a lot of behavioral modifications to go through and try and get all this under control before school starts mid August. It's tough to see him struggle and withdraw from medications. Although, we are doing it as gently as we can, it's still tough and he does not feel well and when my kids hurt, I hurt. Bottom line. I had quite the meltdown on Monday after returning from the Dr. with him. I was just feeling like I was not enough, not strong enough, not the one to do this. Where did my team go? oh yea, I am a single parent now. That's what sucks. Hell, all of it sucks. I am learning to cope and have some good people in my life that cheer me up when I need it. They listen and love me through it.
Thank you for just showing up and knowing when I need to put my knees in the wind. Sometimes that is the only way I can get through the next moment. I am grateful to you in a multitude of ways but without me even saying it, you know how help me smile. :) Life is good sometimes, even in the midst of all the crap that we are going through. It's nice to have good people around you...
These people here help me to laugh and remember it's okay to have fun too. Grilling at the Laketown Wharf... We are the LTW misfits. Good times and good people. You all mean the world to me. !!! Hugs and much love to you all....
All I have to say is " I love you " thank you for not judging me and for taking me to eat yogurt. Yum !!! You always listen and it helps... Whether you know it or not.
Well, love hugs and sandy toes to you all
Michelle and the gang of H's
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