I, Michelle Harrison, give myself permission to: Live life as passionately as I have grieved. Hmmm... Something to ponder... Yes? The realism of this is that we almost have to be given permission to smile, laugh, enjoy anything once we have lost our spouses. It sucks, because we know in our hearts that if they were able to send us a message it would be to live and have fun and smile and remember the good times. However, society has plagued us with the immense responsibility of only conducting ourselves in a certain manner. Truth being that most widows/ widowers do not fit the mold that most have imagined we should be. I think I can speak for most of us when I say that the pain is horrific, the thoughts race, the last moments, the last conversations, when you can remember smelling them the last time, the last argument, the last I love you... Was it sincere? Did they know that I loved them? It is because of all these mangled up emotions that we actually need a " permission slip " ...... So, today I have endorsed mine. Have you signed your permission slip? You do not have to be a widow/widower to have a permission slip... What is holding you back? I know the ever present feeling of NOW...
Today, I sign my slip... Pressing forward in the game we call life.
That being said, I am also learning what I will and will not tolerate in my life today. I also know that I still do not have a filter, so I am learning to walk away. Not in my character, I am always up for a good argument. Everyone that knows me, knows that I am passionate about some things, however, stuck in " widowhood " I am also reminded of how short life is. Lesson learned....
Justin and I went to the shooting range on Sunday. We had a good time. It is something we have been wanting to go and do for a while now. It was awesome !!!
So, hugs from the beach to you all. More blogging to come !!!
Love, Hugs and Sandy Toes...
Michelle and the gang of H's
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