ANGRY WIDOWED CHICK TODAY !!!

BEWARE !!!!

 

 

So, no disclaimer... What you get is what you get today... If you have thin skin and feel like your views of me may be tainted, I suggest you keep moving on...  I am in rare form today... Woke up that way, don't see it changing today, so I am embracing it and putting it all out here for everybody to see.

 

First of all, it's treatment time... SUCKS... I hate it !!! Despise it... It outright pisses me off.  However, without it, I would be beyond pissed off and back in that damn wheel chair and using my "kicked to the curb buddy, Mr. Walker "  So, yes there should be some gratitude in this somewhere, but there is not today.  Just being REAL... I know that I am about to sign up for feeling like crap, losing time being a part of LIFE.. I tend to be more emotional, sensitive, and disconnected when I have treatment.  It's just ME now.  ALL me...  I have to schedule this crap so that I can still get things accomplished.  I am hurting, and I feel like my body has taken me hostage.  I am NOT in control.  I have CONTROL issues, in case you didn't already know this. 

 

I am not easy to live with during this time.  I hate everything.  It's my shit and I have to deal with it.  I am trying, but I am used to having someone to help me through it.  DAMMIT... I don't want to be this person.  This person that is wading through life with no directional compass.  I can't live like that.  I have to know where I am going.  My road map got shredded and the only compass I have is a moral compass and it can't really navigate super great unless certain situations come up, then it works awesome...

 

FOREVER ?  DID you say FOREVER?  Feeling like this?  I make choices every day to get up and go forward... I put on a mask, suit up and show up.  Today, I don't WANT TO... I want to crawl under my bed, not be disturbed, and be still. That won't happen.  The kids have to be taken care of so forth and so on...

 

I don't feel any better.  Maybe in a bit I will after trying to get my pain under control.  For now, TA TA.,, 

 

Oh, and these scooters really tick me off...

 

 

People rent these and act like idiots...  UGHHHHH!!!

 

So, I never promised every post would be positive... And this one definitely is not...