HAPPY BIRTHDAY to me.....
April Michelle Redmond
June 13th. 1974
8:01 pm
My Birthday came and it was actually a really good day... I enjoyed some time with the little guys at the pool and a snack at the Cabana Bar... I got to spend some time with Justin when he got home from School that afternoon and then I got to put my knees in the wind and enjoy riding the bike. AWESOME... I am actually pretty simple to please... I know a lot of you would say I am " high maintenance " LOL but I really am not. Ok, maybe a little....
I had some feelings about not having Jeff here to celebrate with me. I know he was all around me all day. I could feel his presence and sometimes that is comforting itself... Sometimes, it's not enough. I am learning that progressing through this process is a difficult one. It is making me stronger, braver and it continues to make me find my own voice... Learning what is best for me and my kids is also difficult when there is no one to consult about making decisions. I sometimes feel I will make the wrong decision and screw up the kids.. I do not profess to be a perfect parent, however, I try and make the right decisions that will always affect them in the most positive manner.
Today, we went to go fishing and when we got there, we discovered that some idiot had stolen the fishing poles. I was prepared for a complete meltdown from Nick, but he actually handled it pretty well. My only assumption is that the locked part of the truck did not hinge properly and was actually unlocked. The thief also took his tackle box. I am proud that he just grabbed his net and carried on for a bit... My boys impress me so much every day...
I had some feelings about not having Jeff here to celebrate with me. I know he was all around me all day. I could feel his presence and sometimes that is comforting itself... Sometimes, it's not enough. I am learning that progressing through this process is a difficult one. It is making me stronger, braver and it continues to make me find my own voice... Learning what is best for me and my kids is also difficult when there is no one to consult about making decisions. I sometimes feel I will make the wrong decision and screw up the kids.. I do not profess to be a perfect parent, however, I try and make the right decisions that will always affect them in the most positive manner.
Today, we went to go fishing and when we got there, we discovered that some idiot had stolen the fishing poles. I was prepared for a complete meltdown from Nick, but he actually handled it pretty well. My only assumption is that the locked part of the truck did not hinge properly and was actually unlocked. The thief also took his tackle box. I am proud that he just grabbed his net and carried on for a bit... My boys impress me so much every day...
( Nick with his net at his special place daddy took the boys to fish. This was today )
I really had a good time the last two days. I am blessed with some pretty awesome people in my life that make me feel pretty special. I also have some amazing family!! I know I am not alone in this journey and although sometimes I wish I could just march through this all by myself, that is not possible and so I thank you all for continuing to be present in my life. That is the best gift I could ever get from you all. Love me when I am ugly and disorderly... That is LOVE !
Thank you Josh for making sure I got that bike ride on my Birthday !!!
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