Blogging has been on the back burner while life keeps trucking on.  I have needed to share what is in my heart but most of the time I can't keep track of what I need and what I want. 

Life has been crazy Crazy crazy here in the Ptak/ Harrison house.I need to figure a way to remove stressors in my life but I have no idea how to do it.  I think it boils down to learning how to cope differently... I don't know. I'm failing at life right now. I'm not positive. I'm not me.  I'm lost in the translation of what is expected of me and what I can actually do. I enjoy simplicity. I despise chaos. I need organization. I can not do Willy nilly by the seat of my pants. I do not live in limbo real well and here lately that seems to be where I stay.    

I love what this excerpt recognizes in love.  It is truly finding the best happiness in those we love I adore my husband and I try every day to make sure his happiness surpasses my own.  I think that finding the pieces of one's own soul is one of the hardest things to accomplish because it forces us to feel.  It untangled feelings that we have made a choice to ignore.  I always want to be here for Josh.  I always want to build him up... Never tear him down.  I Am married to my best friend.. He loves me beyond my ability to love myself. He loves my children and he respects where I come from.  It really is that simple to find the goodness that is connected to you through someone that loves you unconditionally... 

I keep going, even when I do not think I can go another minute.  Some days it is grief, some days it is my illness, some days it is Nick and his behaviors... Some days it is simply blending our families.  Bottom line is I keep going... I do not want to adult sometimes.  My dad had his strokes in October and as a family, the stress has been immensely intolerable at times.  I am so grateful to have my daddy here and he is doing pretty well most of the time.  I assumed a lot of responsibility for him and am happy to do it, it's just hard...

Our furry dynamics changed in our home recently... rip Izzi we miss you !!!

We also had to make changes with our sweet Precious. She lives in Georgia now and is spoiled rotten just like we spoiled her rotten here. We miss her terribly but I know that it was best for her. Dozer is finally perking up after the changes. That makes us happy. 

Life is always crazy around here but it's OUR crazy and even when we look like we don't know what we are doing, we do.. We should get some of Nicks results soon from the neurologist and we can tackle that giant once we know what we are dealing with.  Everyone is happy happy happy! Malays has been doing her school production "Annie"  she had a solo and I am so proud of her.

Maddy was "cool cat " this month at her school and was on the morning show.  Way to go maddy!!! 

Jaycob is improving at school and has been enjoying seeing his mom and siblings since she is so much closer.  

Noland is gearing up for his school field trips and is also improving his grades. 

All in all we are ok !!! 

Hope this finds you and yours well. Love the one you are with. Always say I love you.  Be kind 

Michelle