Cars... Easter Eggs... Family & More... Whew !!!

Car Shows, Easter Hunts.. Family & MORE!!!

Whoa.. What a weekend :)  Started out Saturday morning with Josh taking Noland to his very first car show EVER !!!  Noland was super psyched... He loved it.  They had a really good time.  I was so glad they got to have some " guy time " and do something FUN !!! Noland really misses hanging out and doing all the " guy stuff " he loves.  He is really INTO cars.  Josh had a special shirt made for him.  He is sporting it in the pics...  

Of course Saturday afternoon we enjoyed Easter with Gdaddy and Gmama and of course dying eggs. Kids laughed and filled the house with all their giggles... Made me smile.

The kiddies with Gdaddy and Gmama after the Hunt... Good times !!

Of course I was a little homesick.  I got to Tango with my Family in GA while they were all at my mom's.  It was so cool.  Made me feel better to get to see everybody and talk to them.  We are so far apart, but I treasure them just the same...  

Bwahhhhhhhhhh...  Just a funny, wow , this is a wild weekend kind of pic... 

Sunday we had the pleasure of having Easter Lunch with Josh's Family.  We felt so welcomed and loved.  The kids had such a great time playing in the yard and with all their goodies.  We all had a blast and some really yummy food...  awesome day !!!

The evening ended and the kids went to bed.  We had some quiet time and were able to wind down from the weekend.  It makes me reflect on how things change.  When you are running to catch your breath from having a great time.  You know it' s been a good weekend.  My soul and spirit felt renewed...  We had our moments missing Jeff... We know he was celebrating in Heaven and he is still guiding us.  I am so blessed with the gifts he continues to send me... 

We had another " big moment " this morning.  I had to take Nick for his labs.  I have dreaded this.  Jeff was the keeper of this task and Justin has filled in since Jeff' s passing.  I felt my throat closing up, my skin getting clammy, my heart racing... I could feel that dreaded panic setting in on the way to the Health care center.  I glanced over to Nick and looked at me and smiled.  That was all it took.  I knew I could get him through this.  No matter what it took or we experienced.  After we were there, it was no biggie.  He did great.  !!!

Such a brave little guy.  He did say that he wished his daddy was here, because he always took him someplace special afterwards.  So we did just that.  We stopped by Gdaddy's house and grabbed some hugs and his little brother bought him breakfast at McDonald's with his Easter money...

Today my heart and soul giggle.  We did it !! yay... I am so proud of us.  So, I will continue down this path... The one that is curvy and winding... That has up and downs.  That is stormy at best most days...  Because, this girl is adjusting her sail... I refuse to sink.. I am so happy... Feel so blessed... Excited about our futures... We know that Josh, the girls, and Jaycob are our Forever Family... With every hard time, with every celebration, with every laugh and accomplishment we grow stronger and stronger.  Love the one you are with... Say I love You... Appreciate the little things... Those are what matter... With a heart full of love and soul full of giggles...  We send you our love and encourage you to do something extraordinary !!! 

Mwah !!

Michelle and the gang of H's and the gang of Ptaks :)

Are you a SCREAMER ?

I got your attention huh?  Well... ??? Are you a screamer in life. When life gets rough do you fly off the handle and lose it ? Do you blame others for your misery?  Are you constantly looking for why bad things happen to you ?  If so, yes you are a screamer in life... A whiney ass....  Life is unkind at times. Fact of the matter is that half of what you get out of life is your doing.  You make the choice to allow others to mistreat you by not stopping it. You make the choice to continue on paths that are not making you happy.... 

I certainly am not a screamer. .. I throw my hands up and have learned to enjoy the ride. It is a short ride if you stop and look at it. I was reflecting today on my little guys and daydreaming about when they were toddling and getting into everything. I had two under the age if two so they were into EVERYTHING.  It seemed as though they would never outgrow it and yet they did. Now it seems so long ago. 

Do not whine through life and miss all the fun and good stuff. Learn to enjoy the ride.. throw caution to the Wind and do Things you would never ever consider doing... 

love the one you are with... always be kind... say I love you !!!

Mwah from the Harrisons and a few Ptak

Michelle 

Time is precious...

Time... I know people get so sick of hearing me say that " time is precious " well it is... My sister and my sweet Mini Me, Lola flew in to visit some friends in Destin and I had the privilege of picking them up from the airport and taking them to the condo.  Daddy 0 rode along so we could have a quick visit.  I will take what I can get... It was not long.  Short car ride, a few minutes hugging and taking some pictures, but it was fun and it made my soul giggle..  that is what matters.  I love them to pieces and would do anything to keep them happy and safe.  My sister and I share an amazing connection.  We always have.  Yes I picked on her and she will say I was mean to her... Not me? !!!  But I always made sure she was safe.  My mom was a single mom with two girls.  We were 5.5 yrs apart and I had to help take care of her.  My mom worked hard to make sure we had what we needed and never wanted for anything.  I never knew until I was old enough to understand that there were some really rough days my mom went through... She did a great job at being MOM, because I never had any idea.  I love my sister, she has been my rock through some really dark times.  I am grateful for the little time we get and look forward to the time when we plan to hang out for longer.  Like I said, I will take what I can get... an hr... worked for me !!! 

We had lots of gifts of time this week.  Brett, Zack and Brett's girlfriend Taylor came to visit...  We laughed and cut up and made good food and had an amazing visit... It was pretty cool to have all my boys under one roof.  This rarely happens.  I slept so good knowing that all their little heartbeats were here with me.  I love all my boys and the oldest ones are growing up and making their own way and that " time " with them is now more precious than anything when I can get it.  Happy Mama this week. :)

Which brings me to this... If you speak the truth and not only are truthful with others but yourself you will go a lot further than if you continue to try and cover up what is real.  I think that we all tell " tall tales " at some point, or maybe you are more comfortable calling them exaggerations.  The bottom line, no matter what you call it, if you will just be honest, I promise it makes  life so much simpler.  My goal is to just live simply.  However that can be accomplished.  

I say it over and over again.  Just be kind.  I know there are exceptions to the rule... I am guilty of being unkind at times too.  I try very hard to express myself in a manner that is not harmful to any one's soul.  Once you damage a soul, it is almost impossible to fix.  

I know Jeff is around the boys all time.  He lives in their hearts and guides them just like he guides me.  I thought this picture of him with Brett and Justin was a sweet reminder that even though he is not here physically he lives on in our memories.  We cherish those... All that TIME... the TIME that was precious and now we remember him always !!! 

Life continues to go forward, we continue to LIVE to make memories.  We are looking forward to all the new chapters in this journey of " new normal "  I feel completely blessed to have not only found an amazing love and have a true love story to tell and remember, but to have found that again in this " new normal " I am happy again.  I am loving the life we are making together and Josh not only loves me and my boys but always helps me continue to keep Jeff's memory alive and respects that part of our world that is " handle with care "... I never thought I would be loved and have that love to give again.  Most people are lucky to have that once, I am ecstatic to have found it again...  Never really losing it the first time, it just became different.  We continue to make memories and are excited to see what will be revealed...  Mwah to you all !!!

Love the one you are with, be kind, always say i love you !!! 

Love, Michelle 

The gang of H's with a few Ptak' s hanging around !!!

ATTRAVERSIAMO

" LETS CROSS OVER "

The meaning is simple enough, however, the translation and how it is applied is anything but simple... 

For me, this became my word... To begin anew... Entering into widowhood so young and scared to death but trying so hard to hold onto everything that was familiar and changing nothing when everything was different but still the same got to be a bit overwhelming.  I had to " cross over " start again.  Begin a new journey. 

Some time has passed, I have found my new normal... I have began a new adventurous journey... New people in my life and looking forward to all the crazy fun times ahead. 

This became my word for Josh and I... He was my " start " again... The world is a dark and scary place.  He helped make it not so scary and allowed me to go at my own pace.  Our worlds collided and crossing over to a new normal became a secure, not scary endeavor that was encompassed with love and concern.  I left some people behind.  They have to travel this journey at their own pace. It was not healthy for me to burden their grief and sadness along with trying to stay alive and live this life that is such a gift.  I hold them all in my heart and send them positive energy and lots of love and light... I can not do it for them and I will be here when they decide to " Attraversiamo "

I have the word written on my forearm and it reminds me every day that crossing over is a magical beautiful journey in itself.  It is all in the translation... I make choices today to be happy and live...  Hope you do too...

We are only given the right now... Learn to live in the now... Time is precious.. Never take it for granted.  Learn lessons from those around you... I did, I have the lessons that Jeff left me with.  He loved unconditionally and I hope I make him proud loving others the way he did, with my whole heart :) 

Love the one you are with... Always say I love You !!!

Michelle and the gang of H's with a few Ptak's hanging around...