Are we ENOUGH?

Are we ENOUGH?  In the daily grind of life, are we ever ENOUGH?  I think we are...  Absolutely ENOUGH.... I believe that we are our own worst critic... We walk around with that baseball bat beating ourselves senseless because we have to work long hours, or have commitments that promote helping others.  I have learned that my children know the difference. 

Recently, I was told by an amazing mom how bad she felt because she had worked double shifts to catch up on life that week and had only seen her children while they were sleeping...  She had not felt great about it, but it was something that had to be done.  This is one of those times when we question whether we are Enough !!!  This lady is one fantastic mom !!!  She rocks and she is teaching her children that life is not handed to you, that if you want to achieve something you must work for it. 

 

I have been there, having our businesses before made us work long hours.  I remember coming home and kissing my babies on the head and thinking " man, I hope one day they know why I work so hard and am not here before they go night night "

 

 

Do this every night with an 'I Love you': "Always kiss your children goodnight – even if they're already asleep" – H. Brown, Jr

We had a great visit this weekend with Brownie and Hannah...  They took off from GA and drove in Friday night.  It was so good to get some GA lovin...  We had so much fun exploring Defuniak Springs on Saturday and found this cute little Java Shack and stopped in for a coffee and sat outside and just enjoyed visiting.  I love them to pieces.. 

 

 

I love this saying.  It represents what I have to do...  I fall a lot...  But I always get up...  I will continue to get up no matter what. 

 

Love and Hugs to you all !!1

Michelle and the gang of H's

 

 

 

These are my PEOPLE, this is where I come from...

I flew to GA on Friday and got to see my girlie, Jennifer and her hubby Jon and their son Aaron, I did not get to see my buddy Caleb, he was at School...  Bummer !!!  We had an awesome lunch at Margo's and got to visit and actually spend a few minutes together... I also got to grab some hugs from Ms. Deb...  She is so precious to me and I love her sooo much and her family.  Especially got some good lovin from Lexie...  I miss them so much.  We made tons of memories in those Friday night's under the lights...  Whoo Hoo...GO BEARS !!!! 

 

 

Of course I got to see my mom and we spent some time together too.  Actual girl time.  Toes and Nails and the whole nine yards.  Just me and my mom...  Been a long time since that happened...  and you know that I had to see my sissy and my squishy and mini me.  We had dinner at my sisters and I finally got a kiss from Squishy.  I tried all evening...  I even made her cry by running out of the room with her so she could not see anybody and that did NOT work.  As I was leaving, she waved bye bye and then gave me some love...  Thanks goodness Isaac had his camera ready !!!  Got to work on that.  It dang nearly broke my heart... 

 

That brings me to Lisa's Ride...  Lisa's Ride is a Ride that Jeff and I have done for the last 8 years.  This was the 9th Ride.. This was the first one Jeff was not physically present for.  There was a lot of our brother's and sisters that had so many nice things to say about him.  We remembered his passion for selling raffle tickets.  He would offer to strip if you bought them from him.  He was such a nut.  I miss him...  I got to ride the ride and that was super important.  This Ride is a way to raise funds for Suicide Prevention and funds advocacy for the stigma that surrounds Suicide.  Lisa was a friends of mine's daughter that was affected by depression and unfortunately a victim of suicide.  It is for such a great cause, and I was so honored to be able to participate this year...  To all my brother's and sister's that I have ridden so many miles with and have had the pleasure of loving all these years, know that you all hold a special place in my heart and Jeff adored you all !! 

Me, Diane, and my Mom at the ride.  My mom actually stayed and hung with all the biker folks.  ha ha !!!  We had fun, enjoyed the raffle and auction and just chilled out for the afternoon with good people...  doesn't get much better than that...  thank you mom for being there for me and spending the day with me. 

Me and my bestie Jennifer at the pub in griffin...  We had so much fun, saw some things we can not un-see, even with eye bleach !!!  I LOVE YOU !!!!! 

Me, Kenny and his friend at the ride.  Kenny is the keeper of Jeff's ashes.  They ride in his saddle bag and wherever Kenny goes, Jeff goes...  So, Jeff was with us at the ride... Not in a conventional manner, but in spirit and somewhat a physical matter.....  Good times, and great day !!!  Love you Kenny....

I could not blog without including a sweet pic of me and my mini me, Lola !!!  Love her to pieces.  I don't have to try and get lovin from her.  She freely offers it !!! 

 

 

I have shared this pic a million times, but this is how I see Jeff in the afterlife.  Riding the sky...  The boys always talk about their travels on the bike and how much they miss him.  I just imagine him like this and know he is whole, healed and guiding us through this messy life we have to live here.  I believe he is putting people in my life for a reason and navigating us in the direction that is the best for us.  We had such an amazing time on our journey, ended way to soon.... However, I try to remember that it is simply a pause.  I choose to live life today.... I choose to go forward....  That's what he wanted for us. 

 

Much love and Hugs to you all !!1

 

Michelle and the gang of H's

Attraversiamo... To Jump, To Navigate, Cross Over into a new Journey...

It begins now a new chapter in our ever changing, forever finding this new normal.....  We have crossed over into a new journey... Full of excitement, new beginnings, and lots and lots of new memories....

 

 

 

Jeff passing away left me with a multitude of feelings.  Will I ever have the life I had before?  Will missing him ever lessen at all?  Will I be ok?  How will I do this without him?  Where will the strength come from?  Amazingly you already know the answers to these questions.  The quote I have been pondering is " It gets hard with everybody calling you brave when you've never been so scared in your life." I had cancer and I knew I would kick it's ass.  It did not stand a chance.  I had everything in my corner, support, emotional stability, my cheerleaders and my children...  Today, Bravery seems to be the hardest of all the things I have acquired to actually " get "  if you will.

 

People tell me all the time, meaning no harm, " You are so brave, how do you do this ? "  I have no idea.  Except I am not brave.  I am scared !!!  Fear that has never ever reared its head in my entire life has somehow shown up and stood full frontal daring me to shake it down, while all along the fear I have shakes my inner soul.  So, what do you do?  You take back a couple of steps and decide what part of that fear you will tackle at that moment.  You can not tackle it all at one time.  Pieces at a time, that is the only way to successfully get through that moment. Those of you that know me, know I am always looking for something to " tackle "  so that's what I do...  I ram it !! Take it to the floor, master it, decide I will not succumb to it and I win !!!  

 

Our last picture at the condo.  Bittersweet, Love where we are, but hated to leave such good people that have showed up and helped me over and over again.  I love my LTW misfits.  Did I mention I was named Queen Misfit?  oh yea !!!

 

My boys are loving the bonfires and grilling.  They had their first day at School yesterday and LOVED it !!  Made friends, very positive day... So glad for them !!!

 

Well, it seems Jeff is getting around.  Here is my sweet friend and brother Kenny P.  He went to Key west and brought his wing man with him in his saddle bags... Jeff would have not had that any other way...  Finally got down there after all these years.  I know he was thrilled.  Kenny, thank you.  You know he would not have had that any other way and he's always with you...  Just like here !!! 

 

 

Thank you too, again...  You make me giggle and laugh and just make it ok sometimes when it feels like it's never going to be ok again.  You are there for me a lot.  Hope I can always be there for you too.  Love you much !!!

 

So, from our house in the boonies to yours, love the one you are with.... Life is short, LIVE it...  never ever take anyone for granted and always say I love you !!!

 

Love, Michelle and the Gang of H's