The continued Journey of Crazy...

Life continues to throw us some curve balls here and there, we choose to embrace it and roll on.  I think that is the best way I can teach my children how to cope is to show them how I cope with things as they unfold.  Do I have parental fails ?  oh yea !!!  In the depths of everything that I could not imagine happening to us as a family, it happened... Time has also happened... Days and months have gone by and we have had time to try and heal and we are thriving in that but there are days... days that we reflect and the good memories are replacing the bad memories, but the missing him will always be there.  I have tried to tailor my blogs to not upset or offend anyone recently and I am not going to do that anymore.  My children will grow up without their father.  This is for me and for them.  Unfortunately,. it is not for any of you.  It is for your entertainment and to see our progress.. I extend my intimate thoughts to you... some complete strangers.  I write.. simply put.  I also have an amazing man in my life who allows me to Celebrate the life of Jeff.  We tell stories about some of Jeff's comical behavior, and things that we have done as a family... I spent almost 20 years of my life married.  I can not, NO, I will not carry on as if he does not exist.  So, like the quote says " Life is not the way it's supposed to be... It's the way it is... The way we cope with it, is what makes the difference. " This is how we cope.  I cope by writing, by celebrating the good days... sharing with you all the happy memories that we are making today in our new normal...

Josh and I will always honor Jeff.  My children will always talk about their dad.  Some days it makes me sad because they run out of stories to tell about their dad....but we are making new stories to tell and we know that their daddy will always watch over them and he guides us daily... We also know he is happy and proud of us !!!

My daddy will be flying to Atlanta soon to have a biopsy on his transplanted kidney... Please keep him in your thoughts and send him some love, light and positive vibes... hoping for good results and nothing serious going on with that transplanted kidney, or " steve "  ha  ha  ha  ...

We are missing Jaycob terribly... We had so much fun during his visit here and I was so grateful to get to spend some time with him.  His departure was not what we had hoped for and that has been hard to deal with and watch the other little ones hearts hurt and miss their brother... We will be planning to visit and Tango soon so we can see his sweet little face.  He had me rolling on more than one occasion.  Sending him big hugs !!! 

Love the one you are with, always say I love you, Be kind... 

mwah, from the Gang of H's and the Ptaks...

A story book ending... or a beginning... you decide !!!

The single most important thing in my world... Family !!! They are not all blood related, some are acquired, some have just always been there. I would do anything for anyone in  my family within reason and of course to help them and not help to harm them in any manner.  We learn that there are those in our lives that can contaminate the air we breathe and just their mere presence can change the absolute value of a great time into a negative experience, but they are family so we absorb the negative energy and hope that our next encounter we can bounce some positive vibes onto them and they grab a hold of them and find their happy.  My children and the immediate people in my lives I would do anything for, and them for me.  It is not even a question.  It just IS.  Moving away from my mom and sisters and nieces and nephews was a big decision but they have all supported all my endeavors, even when they shake their head and I am sure have slight committee meetings about what crazy Michelle is up to now.  It is not fun anymore to try and do something outlandish, they expect it out of me.  Dang it !!!  ha ha ha !!! I pledge to keep trying..  :)

We have been doing really well.  Enjoying the summer with the kiddies and getting ready for 4th of July... Fireworks and of course a bonfire.  Making memories.. enjoying past memories and living every day to the fullest. My story does not end here, it will keep on and on.. I make the choice to Live and Love everyday.  I still feel so fortunate to have the people in my life..  

Not much more to say here folks.  Hope to have more to blog about soon..  In the mean time I do want to say to Josh that I am so grateful to have you in our lives.  I say it over and over again but I want other people to know that love after loss is possible.  Trust your heart.  I am happy again and Josh makes me smile.  

Love you Infinity !!! 

  

Love the one you are with, always say I love you !!! 

Love the gang of H's and the Ptaks...