Hey everyone... I have missed you all... I put blogging on the backburner for a bit. It got extremely crazy in my little world and I have had a rough couple of months. You all are about to know what we have been up to. Life got crazy... We moved to Freeport. We were so happy. We finally were able to see the girls everyday and all the kids were in the same school district. Life was amazing. The place we had rented was not in great shape, but I can see past a lot of things and saw that it was just a mess and needed cleaning up. Houses do not come up for rent in Freeport that often, so I felt like we had to jump on this and we could make it work. The boys were truly enjoying life... Football had started and the Maddy was cheering. I was cheer coach and getting really involved. Malaya was working hard in Middle School and she was placed in all advanced classes. I could not be more proud... Then... we got some weird vibes from the lady we had rented from. She was asking for the rent before it was due and telling me that the problems we had with the place that she was responsible to fix would not be fixed until we paid rent. I explained that I could live without a lot of things but not having a stove for seven people was damn near impossible and I would pay rent when she fixed it. Keep in mind, it was not even due yet.... She started threatening me with 3 day eviction notices.. etc. I did a little research and found the REAL OWNER. He was in PA. I sent him the rent check and a letter. He contacted me and we worked everything out. Found out that the place we had rented was not the actual home he had up for rent. It was HER house. The house she lived in and made a huge mess of and we had cleaned it all up for her and she had moved into the nice clean home that was actually for rent/ with all that being said. We decided to stay. We had made it home and the kids were happy. We were adjusting to some sinus issues we thought with all the kids. They all had headaches, stomach aches.... it went on and on. We decided to make some repairs that we had discussed with the owner that involved sheetrock. We pulled it down and behind it was black mold. We contacted him and he said he would be right down and make repairs. Upon further investigation, we found that one half of the entire house was consumed with black mold. Needless to say, we had to vacate that afternoon. My immune system is compromised and I could not chance myself or the kids getting sick from the mold. It turned into a huge mess and we lost a lot of material things that could not be saved. It took them over a week to get rid of the mold and make repairs. In the meantime, we had an amazing friend who had a property that we were able to work out a forever deal with and own it in about 10 years in Fountain FL. It's a long ways from the girls and the boys are back in BAY county but the house is amazing and we have almost an acre and we never have to move again. Blessed !!

I have been struggling with my disease. It seems to consume most of my thoughts and energy lately. I look at this picture of me in the wheelchair and I never ever want to be her again. I strive everyday to keep moving. I try to do more today than I did yesterday. I just feel beat down and I do not ever want to be a burden on anyone. I feel pain on a level daily and hourly that the average human being could not begin to bear. I try and mask it, I try and make it mind over matter, but damn everyone has a breaking point. I am used to taking my treatment and being down for 24 hrs and then rocking on... Since January I have been struggling. We have changed my treatment plan 3 times, we have changed pain medications that just made me sick... I cry myself to sleep every night. I struggle to walk for hours when I awake. I sometimes think if I could just feel a different pain then I could be ok for another day... I try very hard not to act on those behaviors. I was diagnosed with Sjargen's Syndrome another auto immune disorder that affects the eyes and also contributes to joint pain and fatigue, as if I did not already have enough of that already... Today I met with the Rheumy Dr. I have ran out of medications. I have done them all. I have nowhere to go as of right now. I am agreeing to continue the treatment I am on for now, or at least for the next 8 weeks. The dr. says that it takes a while to respond. I am trying to keep an open mind... I have been told I am stubborn, that I am not the Dr. I get all that. I do. However, at the end of the day it's my body and my future that is at stake. I am not in that damn wheelchair anymore because I did n't settle when they told me at Emory that they couldn't do anything else for me. What if I had just said, ok... Id still be in that chair. I will not go back to that. Today I claim that there is an answer and I claim that I will find it.

I will figure this out... I can assure you of that. I have not come this far to just sit down and be DONE...

These are my heartbeats... They are why I get up and function everyday... Why my eyes open... I love them to pieces !!! Until next time... WE are surviving and thriving... Hoping for some more good news to be revealed. From the Gang of H's and the Ptak's Josh and Michelle

Leaping before you LOOK!!!

I have spent most of my adult life feeling like I was falling off a cliff. This has never ever been a bad feeling... The rush of the next life adventure. The freedom of being my own person. The challenges that come with falling even if you are building your wings on the way down is that there is a slight chance you will not get the wings built before you hit solid ground. The ringing in your ears from falling so hard and not being successful in having those wings to support you before you hit bottom can be devastating. You do the crawl of shame to pick yourself back up and make choices. Choosing to go forward with the original plan that through you so fast and spiraling that you failed, or develop a new plan. I would say it has always been about half and half with me. I would sometimes retreat back to the same plan and try to execute it a little differently or I may have to develop a whole new plan. Eventually, I learned the definition of Insanity... " going back to the same thing expecting a different result." Do we learn from failed plans? I think we do. My opinion is that it matters what we do with the failed plan at the end... I have had quite the run on failing lately. I have failed in my writing, as a parent, as a friend... My health has failed and I have had to make decisions that were not for the faint of heart. I reveal to you what I want you to know about me. That is the honest truth. You, the reader, have no idea what is going on in my world other than what I tell you. Obviously, this is my choice. I said when I began this blog that it would not always be filled with unicorns and butterflies.. well, this is one of those posts. I am not writing to get a bunch of " you are so strong... I don't know how you do it " etc. posts. My blog is for me to catalog my feelings and hopefully be able to go back and read them and see progression and see the realism that I portray here.. My soul.. My heart.. My inner most thoughts. It takes a lot to be able to put yourself out there. Here we go>...... I want to make sure that anyone reading this knows who I am. This may be more for me than for my introduction... Eighty one posts into this blog is not really an introduction I suppose. I was born April Michelle Redmond, I have enjoyed the Arts and Ballet my entire life. I danced for a professional company for 14 yrs and I think was a pretty happy go lucky child. I always felt like I was never good enough. I struggle today with the same feelings. I was a people pleaser and a great student. I was a teenage mother. I have no regrets. Justin is my world. I am who I am today because of the unconditional love that a tiny baby boy showed me while I was just a child myself. We grew up together and have an amazing bond. Our world was shattered when I became a widow after 19 yrs of marriage. In my marriage Jeff and I adopted 2 little boys and he had a son named Brett. They were our everything. After becoming a widow I did not thing that I could go on... I made two attempts on my life and self harmed. I am forever grateful that I was unsuccessful in my endeavors to end my life because I have been on the most amazing journey since finding out who I am... Michelle I met Josh and our worlds began to blend together... Now, what you are not aware of is this: It is not easy to find someone who will love you the way you deserve to be loved with the broken pieces you are trying to hold together and also love my children. I believe that we were two broken souls that needed each other and we were able to hold each other tight enough that it put all the pieces back together. Are they scars? Absolutely, they remind us where we have been. No one needs to forget where they have been... It is a map to guide you into tomorrow. I love with all my heart. I love hard. I love messy. We married in a beautiful beach ceremony with our children. We blend together and ebb and flow. Our souls are in synch. I am so happy to have Josh in my life and now I get to do " life " with him. I also have a debilitating disease that I have never wanted to be a hardship on anyone. I have prided myself on independence and the ability to take care of myself and my children. The last couple of months have been such a burden on Josh and my family. I have had to become humble in some of my affairs and ask for help. I have had to start over with another doctor, and trust that he will make sure my life is the best it can be. I am in charge of my life and my health. Hopefully, the relationship I have with the new Doctor will continue to be positive but if for one minute I do not think he is taking care of me, I will move on. These are my days on planet Earth and I choose to spend them in the best manner I can. I like to think I am superwoman, I am finding out that the simpler I make my life, the better it is. The feelings I referenced earlier about never feeling like I am good enough... I refuse to allow this to be part of my thought process. I may never measure up to some people... That is ok. I am good with me. I will always march to the beat of my own drum... I will always be different, I like it. My tattoos and piercings are a Celebration of my life. They represent times in my life that needed to be remembered or treasured. Ordinary is boring... I teach my children to be their own person... to do what they dream, to believe... I will leave you with this; Be kind... treasure Time... once it is spent, you can not get it back. Love the one you are with, always say I love You !!! Mwah The Ptaks, and the Gang of H's

Let go of the loss Hold onto the Love

I was asked to write a blog on a " widows " Mother's Day... As insight into what that day feels like when the one you love that gave you your blessings is no longer here in the physical world. The rebel in me says " what the hell? why would you write about something so somber on such a day to be celebrated? " So... that's exactly what you are getting. The celebration of a most unique Mother's Day. My world is a collision of folks. My children that lost their father... Justin, Brett, Nikolas and Noland. Josh's children that I adore... Malaya, Maddy, and Jaycob and their mom's, Josh's Mom, Jeff's Mother and my mother... We are just a mess of folks that enjoy loving our children and we all have a different story. On Mother's day I was honored to wake up to five adorable faces and an amazing husband who loves me and was thoughtful and got me framed pictures of us and the kids. I love pictures... they make me smile. Pieces of myself have changed because of what I went through. I do not like to have anyone leave without saying good bye and I love you. I do not like my children to go to be upset. Anything, and I mean Anything can happen. It makes my stomach hurt. I believe in kissing in the morning and always before bed. I am a very fortunate woman to have so many blessings in my world. Today I focus on the Love and not the loss. Focusing on the loss makes me sad and empty feeling. It creates turmoil and raises questions that I will never know the answers to. Today I focus on how much I have been loved my whole life. My parents, Jeff, and now Josh and his family. I have experienced more in my short life than most will ever experience in their whole life. I choose LIFE and I hope you do too... Love you all !!

Six Weeks to LIve... what do you do?

Here we are: the bottom line... Six weeks to live... Sounds crazy, huh? My life revolves around a medication that helps me be ME. It allows me to walk, live, participate in life. I have 3 treatments in the refrigerator. No refills. No doctor. I take my treatment about every 2 weeks. I have 6 weeks to live. At the end of that 6 weeks, I will still be here physically in this world, but my ability to live will have ended. This is a hard fact to swallow. This is REALITY. People say to me, " pray and everything will work out " yeah.. I pray, however, I am a realist and I know that unless I get into a Rheumy Dr. ASAP... Nothing will be OK in six weeks. My ability to live will not exist anymore. I will become solely dependent on those around me to take care of me and my babies. I am struggling to say the least. My pain on a level of 1 to 10 is about a 90. My mind is all over the place and I do not want to go back to that wheelchair. I won't... My struggle continues after seeing a Rheumy Dr. last week who contributes my joint pain to being FAT. I know that I need to lose MORE weight, but I am proud of the fact that I have lost an entire person. The removing of weight from ones joints does play an important role in feeling better. He wanted to entirely dismiss my medical condition because of weight. I left there feeling the lowest I have felt in a very long time. I am very active. I walk, I do yoga. Although I am not as active as I would like to be right now, it is due to my treatment failing... that being why I needed to see the Dr. for continued care. The biological meds that I have been taking, ie: treatment have enabled me to have my life back. Removing pain, swelling, and the mobility in my joints by shrinking the nodules in the joints much like chemo works with shrinking tumors. Same concept. Easiest way I can explain it. I will not go back to being that girl... I left her a long time ago and she is not welcomed here...

What you can not see in this picture is my legs are the sizes of tree trunks and propped up on two different stools because I could not bend my knees. I weighed about 369 lbs in this picture. I was still trying to be active and it was HELL. I have always pushed through until it was physically impossible which did happen... then I found Dr. Crayton. He was amazing, he listened to me, allowed me to be in charge of my health and participated in the solution. He cared. I am finding that those Dr.'s are few and far between... However, I will not settle. It is my LIFE we are discussing and trying to find a way allow me to LIVE it. The scary part is that I know what can happen in 6 weeks... You know.. the 6 six weeks I have to LIVE.

Some of you may be thinking... " wow, she is really over reacting on this one " Nope... I am not. The tragedy that I have lived through losing Jeff showed me how quickly life can change. I choose not to take the ability to live lightly... I get so sick of hearing people moan and groan about their lives... their spouses... their children... Did you ever stop and think about how much you HAVE.???? Today I do not take time for granted. Once it is spent, you can never ever get it back. Recently, Josh and I discussed him taking a job where he would be traveling about 2 weeks at a time. I will never tell him he can't do something... we do not operate that way. I only asked him to think of the time he will miss. The School functions he can not be at. The goodnights you can not get back. He made his own decision and we both firmly believe it is better to have little, and an abundance of time, than vice versa. I love that all our heartbeats are under one roof every night. It makes me smile... Even if it means I can not go buy the greatest and best new Coach bag, or have steak 3 days a week... I do not care. I am rich in a multitude of ways that have nothing to do with monetary items.

This guy... this guy right here... He amazes me in every way. He loves me even when I can't love myself. Here is what has changed for me because of Josh... I have learned how to " chill " out... so to speak... I spend the weekends in my jammies, unless we go out obviously. I never did that before, I used to get up and get dressed regardless. I have learned how to somewhat sit still and just let things be. I have learned how to let others HELP me... and he does it with love and genuine compassion. He makes me laugh and sometimes, that is all you can do... Laugh... The kids amaze me every day... It is quite chaotic at our house. We are usually running in several directions... getting one child something they need, or attending a school production for one or all of them at 2 different schools. It gets pretty interesting, but I love love love love love love it !!! I enjoy this time of year, the end of the school year when the kids have tons of things they are involved with and have practiced hard for their performances. They make me smile and move my soul like no other. So, you see? Having 6 weeks to live in unacceptable. I won't have it. I will conquer this... somehow/ someway. I hope you can take a minute an appreciate what you have in your world. I try every day to be appreciative of the things that I have and the people that support me. I am ready for Thunder Beach. We will be heading out of Friday and I can not wait... I am actually already their in spirit, just had the physically hang back to take of issues till Friday... ha ha ha The release will be so awesome and I get some quality one on one with my husband... That is the best part... The gravy if you will... Take care of you and yours. If you don't nobody else will... Much love to you all... Love the one you are with... Always say I love you... Never be unkind.. MWAH From our house in the boonies to yours... Love the gang of H's and Mr. and Mrs. Ptak... ( love that )

Shit Creek Survivor !!!

Today I am blessed with an amazing husband who would move mountains for me... Give me the world on a silver platter if he could... mostly he is just here... here for me when I need a shoulder to cry on, here for me when I laugh and he laughs at me, or with me. I have found that " HERE " is better than anything I could ever want materialistically... " HERE " is where I want him the most. I am so glad that we and our pieces of soul found each other because I need him and it is nice to become "one" with him... I am a lucky girl !!! I have had a lot of turmoil running around inside my mind lately. It is by far the scariest place I have ever been. I try my damndest to stay out of my own head because I usually end up in my own way. I have disappointed myself with some of my actions recently. I am woman enough to own up to them. My attitude has been kind of shitty. No other way to put it. We downsized in vehicles to meet some financial goals and I have acted like a BRAT. No other way to put it. A BRAT !!! So, just like this quote says... I get into my head and then I shut down. I don't talk, I don't feel, I don't eat, I don't do anything but what has to be done. My inner demons are cruel and they don't forgive easily. I will usually apologize for my actions and I want so badly to say what is in my head, but I know better. Hence the blog... It has become easier for me to get out of my head by writing what I feel here. I liked me better when I had felt sooooo much that I was numb. I did not have to feel... uugghhhhh !!! I Still struggle with sleep. It comes in waves... When I have a lot going on in my head, then I most likely will not be sleeping. I may be trying, but it's not a restful sleep. It's a sucky sleep that drains you emotionally because you go over and over and over in your head a million times what is going on and the same outcome happens every time. No solutions. I try and let go and free my mind, but that was when I was meditating and practicing that in my every day affairs. I think that may be in the near future for me again. I seemed more at peace when I could just breathe through the emotions. I had less panic attacks and more control of my emotions. I deal with physical pain on a level most of you will never have to feel. I feel less than because I am becoming more dependent on those around me. Pain does demand to be felt. The physical pain that I am in is 24 hrs a day 7 days a week. Do I hole up in the bed? Hell no.. I GET UP I get the kids to school... I clean house. I walk... I tend to the chickens. I make dinner, I tend to others needs first. That is my nature. However, when you can't raise the glass to your face and take a sip out of your cup, that sucks. No lie. My right hand used to be my bad hand. Then some bitch hit me head on in November and my left hand has serious damage. I have been seeing a hand specialist and to no avail there has been NO relief in 5 months. I can't turn my left hand over, I can't hold anything in it, I need surgery to fix it. yeah right? !!! I do not have time for that; I have a special needs child... who is going to take care of him and me? oh... you mean I should let Josh help...??? that would be the logical solution, however, once again... in my head... I become a burden.. who in the hell wants to be a burden? Not me... Josh will argue this and say I am not a burden, it is just my feelings... I will be seeing a new Dr. at the end of the month, this is yet another scary venture for me. Starting over with Doctor's.... I am going in with an open mind and an open heart... Hopeful for some results.. Life here in the boonies is crazy, chaotic and AMAZING. We were looking for a normal, but decided normal was over rated. We like it crazy. The kids are settling in and we have some GRAND plans for the summer coming up. Easter has come and gone and it was a good day with lots of memories... Always say I love you, love the one you are with, never ever be unkind... Much love and lots of hugs sent to you from our family to yours... Love always, The gang of H's and Mr and Mrs Ptak

Starburst....

 

Starbursts are one of my favorite candies... Ummm... most of the flavors of starbursts are my favorite candies.. OK.. just the pink and sometimes the red, yep, those are my favorites..  My point..??. do not ever let anyone treat you like the yellow starburst, only the pink ones... I have made a conscious decision in most all of affairs to only allow myself to be treated by others the way I treat them.  The golden rule, if you will... ?? Tolerating what others display in their behaviors because I have no choice is something that I do not like, however, life is not fair... Right?  We learn that early in life.  Most of us do anyway.  I can assure you the word FAIR was a cuss word in our house.  We were not allowed to say it at all. There were consequences for the use of that word.  You are treated by others by what you will allow. 

 

We have had a ton going on here in our world.  Josh traveled many many miles and brought Jaycob back with him.  He had very little sleep and we missed him terribly while he was gone.  We were equally excited to have Jaycob here too.  We spent the day on Saturday going to the park and getting a little rest... I spent the time while Josh was gone rearranging the bedrooms and getting things organized.  Probably over-doing it just a bit. 

 

Prior to Josh leaving, we had three people in our immediate world pass away... I had a Doctors appointment that did not go as well as I had hoped for my hand from the wreck in November and both the boys Psychiatrists quit the practice that worked for and we are left without any Dr's care for them, and one of the people that we lost was not only my friend but my Rheumy Dr.  It has been a rough couple of days for sure.    

 

My sweet friend Kenny P and Jeff... Kenny went to be with Jeff in Heaven last week.  My heart shattered.  I had plans to see him last week and had to put them off until later in the month and in doing so, I did not get to say good bye.  The last text I have from him is him telling me he loved me.  He had always been a constant source of encouragement after losing Jeff and he was excited about being there for Josh and I in July for our Celebration/ Reception.  I know he will be with me and will always be in our hearts.  He will be sadly missed and always remembered.  I know that Jeff met him when he got there and they are probably riding the clouds...  God speed Kenny. 

 

A dad and his boy...

Self Harm awareness was March 1st... I have spoke openly before about my own personal journey with self harm, and I am aware it is not what most people that love me want to read about, however, it is part of my journey and it is a part of who I am.  I am not embarrassed by it, or ashamed of it.  I believe in being a voice and empowering the removal of the stigma that surrounds it.  Self Harmer's do not self harm for attention, or because they are MENTAL.  It is a coping skill that is lacking.  I am of sound mind.  I hope and believe that one day those that are scared to get help will get it.  I have had people make horrible remarks about my journey.  I have even limited my writing about self harm and my advocation for this cause because of what other's have said or thought about me.  Not anymore.  I never promised when I started this blog that it would be rainbows and butterflies.  It's real shit. My life, my world,. my journey.  I am allowing you to be a part of it.  If you do not like and do not support me, make the choice to remove yourself from my world. 

 

Hugs.... I believe in the healing power of HUGS... You must use both arms and it must be a real hug...  I know, silly... I need lots of hugs.. I am grateful that I have an endless supply of HUGS in my house.. Tiny hugs to great big hugs...  I am a lucky lucky girl...

We are planning the " AFTER I DO, BBQ More will be revealed... Hugs and love, Mrs. Ptak... LOVE IT !!!

Catch up BLOG ! enjoy !!

 

Wow, I have missed you all...  There has been so much going on in our world that I have not had time to sit down and write...  I have tried so many times, but since before Christmas I have been struggling with keeping my pain under control and have been changing medications and it has worn me out. 

 

 

We have had lots going on here in the boonies...  WE GOT MARRIED... It was beautiful... Just us and the little guys, Justin and our dads were present... We decided that once again, Life is short, Why Wait?  We are still planning an all out PARTY in July and we hope you all will be able to join us in celebrating our Marriage... The most important thing to Josh and I is Family.  I want to clear the air and say that by no means did we RUN off and get married ignoring all the love and support we have received from you all.... Simply put, we wanted our wedding to be more of an intimate affair... We love you all and look forward to seeing everybody in JULY... YEAH !!! 

 

Our Journey beginning as Mr. and Mrs. Joshua Ptak... Happy Happy Happy

 

We have all experienced loss in some form or another... I experienced the loss of Jeff and will never " get over " that loss.  However, like this quote says>  I have been carved into a different individual.   love more, and want to LIVE... and I am kinder and believe in being kind, until they cross that line that requires me to be unkind,.

 

Dr. Hulon Crayton... I owe my very existence to you and will be forever indebted to you for your compassion, love and belief in me when I didn't believe in myself.  I came to you 4 years ago, broken, in a wheel chair, begging for anything, you showed me HOPE, and how to believe in myself.  With that encouragement and your expertise in Rheumatology I got to LIVE... really LIVE.  Walking, taking care of my children and myself.  On Valentines' day, you earned your Angel Wings after you battled your own battles, never losing hope and always making sure your patients were taken care of... Rest easy Dr. Feelgood.. We will miss you.

 

WE are loving married life.  Making plans and changes to our household... me, trying to get used to my new last name.  I love it..

 

We sent our save the dates, the date is July 18th for the Reception and celebration of our marriage.  Invitations will go out... So be on the look out.  It's and " after I do, BBQ" 

 

Some wedding pics.  We were missing Jaycob, but can't wait to see him and have some more pics made with him in them... We love our babies..

ONE BIG HAPPY FAMILY...

 

 

We have lots more going on, but just wanted to get a quick blog out and give everybody some of the info going on behind the scenes.  Never a dull moment.  Love the one you are with, always say I love you and never ever be unkind.

 

Hugs and love to you all,

The gang of H's and the Ptaks...

 

Michelle

When the hurricane is over what happens?

I have often wondered how people recover from such a horrific tragedy... hurricane, tornado, fire... What happens when that tragedy is over and the dust has settled and you look around and what you are left with are remnants of your life... a book here, a blanket there, a childhood memory destroyed.  Your clothes tattered and worn.  What can be salvaged?  Anything? I went and looked at some pictures of the chaos and debris that Katrina had left behind... The lives destroyed and misplaced.  I went and also looked at what has been rebuilt since Katrina... What emerged through that tragedy...I found that buildings were built stronger, testimonies of those affected showed strength they never knew they had. They were broken, the whole city and it's people... but they rebuilt and they moved forward. 

I can apply this in my life... whether it be my RA or the loss of Jeff... I did stand in the debris for a while.  Standing there in the midst of what I could not control and broken.  What did I do?  I made the decision to use some of what I had left, and to use new people to help rebuild what was broken.  I am forever grateful to be where I am now.  I am strong.  I did build myself over again... I am stronger for having gone through the hell.  

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With that ability to rebuild I found my happy.  I am so excited to report that we had an amazing time in GA.  We got to do some of my favorite things and the best part was sharing it with Josh.  I get to see everything he grew up around and with living here in Defuniak.  Taking him HOME was a blast.  We went to Helen and got to drive through the mountains and experience some iconic Atlanta sites.  The vortex was awesome.  He really enjoyed it.  The food was amazing too.  We got to see so many people and they all LOVED us.  It was an incredible feeling to have that much love in one space.  I am so excited as we plan the Wedding and make our future plans....  One of the gifts we got was a window with pics in it.  I could not wait to get home and hang it proudly in our living room.  

And.................... we have a dress......................  It will still not be anything typical of a traditional wedding gown.  It will have my Michelle style with it and of course boots...  We ;just need to nail down the date and location and then we can get this thing moving along... 

Treatment has not been kind to me once again.  I did get out of the house and try to function.  We went shooting and that always cheers me up.  It just has taken more time to recover again.  Hopeful we find a solution to this.  I do not like being down for too long.  

I am happy... I smile more than I ever thought I would.  Josh, I love you to the moon baby !!! You always make me feel so special.  I can't wait to be your wife...


Love the one you are with, always say I love you, Live... Laugh... and Love... and be KIND...

From us to you,
Love MWah
Michelle the gang of H's and the Ptaks