Starbursts are one of my favorite candies... Ummm... most of the flavors of starbursts are my favorite candies.. OK.. just the pink and sometimes the red, yep, those are my favorites.. My point..??. do not ever let anyone treat you like the yellow starburst, only the pink ones... I have made a conscious decision in most all of affairs to only allow myself to be treated by others the way I treat them. The golden rule, if you will... ?? Tolerating what others display in their behaviors because I have no choice is something that I do not like, however, life is not fair... Right? We learn that early in life. Most of us do anyway. I can assure you the word FAIR was a cuss word in our house. We were not allowed to say it at all. There were consequences for the use of that word. You are treated by others by what you will allow.
We have had a ton going on here in our world. Josh traveled many many miles and brought Jaycob back with him. He had very little sleep and we missed him terribly while he was gone. We were equally excited to have Jaycob here too. We spent the day on Saturday going to the park and getting a little rest... I spent the time while Josh was gone rearranging the bedrooms and getting things organized. Probably over-doing it just a bit.
Prior to Josh leaving, we had three people in our immediate world pass away... I had a Doctors appointment that did not go as well as I had hoped for my hand from the wreck in November and both the boys Psychiatrists quit the practice that worked for and we are left without any Dr's care for them, and one of the people that we lost was not only my friend but my Rheumy Dr. It has been a rough couple of days for sure.
My sweet friend Kenny P and Jeff... Kenny went to be with Jeff in Heaven last week. My heart shattered. I had plans to see him last week and had to put them off until later in the month and in doing so, I did not get to say good bye. The last text I have from him is him telling me he loved me. He had always been a constant source of encouragement after losing Jeff and he was excited about being there for Josh and I in July for our Celebration/ Reception. I know he will be with me and will always be in our hearts. He will be sadly missed and always remembered. I know that Jeff met him when he got there and they are probably riding the clouds... God speed Kenny.
A dad and his boy...
Self Harm awareness was March 1st... I have spoke openly before about my own personal journey with self harm, and I am aware it is not what most people that love me want to read about, however, it is part of my journey and it is a part of who I am. I am not embarrassed by it, or ashamed of it. I believe in being a voice and empowering the removal of the stigma that surrounds it. Self Harmer's do not self harm for attention, or because they are MENTAL. It is a coping skill that is lacking. I am of sound mind. I hope and believe that one day those that are scared to get help will get it. I have had people make horrible remarks about my journey. I have even limited my writing about self harm and my advocation for this cause because of what other's have said or thought about me. Not anymore. I never promised when I started this blog that it would be rainbows and butterflies. It's real shit. My life, my world,. my journey. I am allowing you to be a part of it. If you do not like and do not support me, make the choice to remove yourself from my world.
Hugs.... I believe in the healing power of HUGS... You must use both arms and it must be a real hug... I know, silly... I need lots of hugs.. I am grateful that I have an endless supply of HUGS in my house.. Tiny hugs to great big hugs... I am a lucky lucky girl...
We are planning the " AFTER I DO, BBQ More will be revealed... Hugs and love, Mrs. Ptak... LOVE IT !!!
Hug healing is for real!
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