Life continues on... Changes happen.... We just learn to roll with it !!!

HOME ..... VERY SOON !!!

Revealing our big news...  We are moving...  Excited.... Scared.... ( to fricken death ) ... Excited... Whoa !!! Lots of feelings... However, hesitation is not one of them.  The boys are ready, beyond ready...  The yard is huge and everyone will have their own bedroom... Yay !!!  Even ME !!!!  Looking forward to hay bales in the driveway with fall decorations and lots and lots of new memories...  It's a good thing...  Some may not agree, who cares...  It's right for us....

Making all the preparations for the move.... Never ever ever have I done this by myself.  Getting Nick and Noland squared away at the new School... Moving the IEP, meeting with the placement resource teachers.  Everybody has been so helpful...  It's a very small school compared to what they have been attending for 3 years, I think that is going to be so beneficial to them and ME...  Hoping I can volunteer more at the School...  Another step forward... Attraversiamo.... ( you know who you are )

Gdaddy and his boys.  Wow !!! My dad and Felicia will be in the same town as us...  Excitement is a brewing...  I have been here with no family for 3 years.  Those who know me, know that FAMILY is the up most important thing to me and my kids.  Lots of good things happening...

I am feeling great, except when it's close to treatment time or the rain comes flooding in for several days in a row... I keep requesting no more than a couple of hours of rain at a time, but the memo must not be getting any attention.  I am so excited for fall, the move and what is in store for us in the future.  Kicking rocks in the yard, dirt roads, bonfires, and chilling on the porch during one of those rains...  

This has been the quote I have pondered on recently.  I usually share with you all something that I am holding dear to my heart.  This is it right now.  I have been judged and continue to be judged by so many because of what I believe and how I choose to live my life and raise my children, that I too have to be careful to not cast judgement on anyone.  If we are different, that's what makes the world go round.  

We continue to go onward and upward, making Jeff proud, knowing he is watching over us and keeping us safe and guiding us when we need it.

My love to you all....

Michelle and the gang of H's

Tangled up in what?

Yep,  That's what is says " All tangled up in my Underwear ".....  It's a southern thing....  Hopefully, for those who are not familiar with that term, ya'll can figure it out...  ha ha ha !!!

This is the term I refer to when I just can not get rid of my anxiety.  I have had quite a bit lately.  Nick and Noland's Medical Insurance has been cancelled...  Have no idea why... Went to get medication refilled and the pharmacy let me know.  Will have to call on Monday... Until then, Nick is not having great days.  Ugghhhh.  The balancing of life and all it's uncertainties is draining some days.  Nick also ran at School.  I am sure it will all level out.  We have a lot going on that is difficult for him to process I believe.

Now for our BIG NEWS... We are moving.  We are staying in Florida...  Absolutely, without a doubt.  That will not change.  We are moving about an hour from Panama City Beach... The area we are moving to is country... quiet, serene, and calm.  The boys will have a yard to play in and ride their bicycles.  They are excited...  The school is great and will have resources available for Nick and I believe it is just time.  The condo has been great, but there is constantly something going on, an event, or it's crowded.  Just time to get back to simpler living and continue to heal...

The Beach will only be about 30 minutes away, but there are other areas with bodies of water, like these beautiful springs we can play in and explore.  Looking forward to the change.  I will not lie; I am scared to death.  I was recently reminded that I am no alone.  I sometimes forget that....  We will be ok.  We will be better than ok.. We will be awesome !!!

Not much to blog on...  Just trying to shake that feeling " all tangled up in my underwear "  Ya'll enjoy each other.  Take time to tell the one you are with that you love them...  Life is short !!! LIVE IT !!!

Love and Hugs,
Michelle and the gang of H's

" All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another" - Anatole France

I have reflected on this poster " You know my name not my STORY " for a couple of weeks.  If you do not know my story, it is a direct reflection of my inability to convey it to you.  It has high points, low points, some places that I do not even want to look at again.  I try very hard to keep positive, be strong, go forward... My story however, had a pause if you will... a ; ( semi colon ) When an author uses a semi colon it is their choice to not end the sentence, but begin a new sentence.  A pause if you will...  My story, has a semi colon.  My wrist bears the mark of a tattoo of a semi colon.  I have hit on this point once in a blog I did a couple of months ago,  but decided this needs to be revisited for me.  

I had an amazing journey with Jeff... He was my rock, he grounded me, loved me unconditionally.  He wanted me to be happy and live.  I am living.  I am going forward.  We as a family are making changes, a lot of changes.  We are beginning to have more happy days than sad ones.  Do we miss Jeff?  Hell yea !!! 

Do not judge what we do, do not think you know what we are going through and learning how to survive.  You don't know !!! Love us from a distance if you can not be near us.  Understand that we can be happy again.  I am honoring Jeff in every way I can.  Raising our children the way he would be proud.  Being there for the older boys.  It is hard to wear both hats, especially when he was so " hands on " with all our kids and the ones that were not ours. 

So, bottom line, if you are in our lives, know we love you...  Your opinion of what we are doing right or wrong is " Not my Circus, Not my Monkeys"  Love that saying...  I do not believe in judging others for what they do in their lives.  We, however, are going to keep doing what we have to in order to get " happy happy happy "  The boys are doing well in School...  Justin is almost " in " at the Volunteer Fire Station and should start the Fire academy very soon...  Brett is doing well in Fort Myers and we miss him bunches.

Justin completed the 110 flights of stairs climbed in memory of 9-11 this past weekend.  I am so proud of him.  He had his heart in it and was training and completed it !!!  He has such a serving heart... Makes a mama proud !!! 

The little guys made tool boxes... I am sure that was a little gift from Jeff in Heaven...  of all the projects to make, it was a tool box...  They had a good time.  !!!

That brings me to this awesome guy...  He has been there for me in so many ways.  When I need to clear my head and just ride, he shows up... No questions asked.  He makes me laugh and he listens to me when I need to scream...  Mostly, he makes me smile !!!  I am so grateful to have him in my life... Love ya !!!

From my family to yours, Hope you all are doing well... We are... We will continue to go forward !! 

Love and Hugs,

Michelle and the Gang of H's