Day # 3 Birthday Week.....

 

 

So, it began today... That sinking feeling I get in the pit of my stomach when I can feel the feelings begin the creep up and try and take me hostage...  Hostage from my sanity, the sanity I claim right now that is...  I hate these feelings.  I also am acutely aware of just how treasured I was... I was Jeff's everything.  It did not matter what I did, how I did it, or if it got done...  He loved me with his whole, non functioning heart.  I am also aware of how important that was and is to me.  I had a really rough morning.. Who was I going to call and shout to about it?  He's not here anymore... Yes, I can shout at the air, but it's not the same as someone telling you it's ok and that no matter what you are their " some kind of wonderful "...

 

 

I struggle with trying to find my happy place.  I do get up, suit up, and show up every day... But, really ? what choice do I have?  My kids depend on me... Finding a new normal isn't just for me, it's for them too.  I make the choice to go forward.  I have to...

 

Today, I got to hang out with Trisha, she was over doing some business and we don't get to see each other very often.  She lives about an hr from here, but we are both GA girls...  Moved to FL about the same time and have some of the same daily struggles...  Single parenting sucks...  We had a great afternoon... 

 

 

Life takes twists and turns and we get angry at the situation we are in, but somehow at the end of the day, I am ok.  I don't know how...  Yes I have my moments...  Yes, I am having lots of those moments right now...  I will be ok.  My kids will be ok...