whoo hoo... what a weekend...

 

 

Our visit with family started on Wednesday... Brett and Zack arrived late Wednesday afternoon.  It was so good to visit and hang out... We talked a lot about Jeff, and how we are all coping.  The boys are doing really well adjusting to our new normal. They have lots of feelings, but we are here for each other. Jeff would have wanted it that way... wouldn't have expected anything else from us I suppose. We are continuing to just take this day by day.  I would be lying if I did not say that seeing all the boys together warmed my heart and made my soul giggle just a bit... 

 

 

 

On Thursday, My dad and My ex wife in law came into town... For those who don't know who my ex wife in law is...  It's Shani, Jeff's ex wife. Brett and Zack's mom...  She's awesome and I am so grateful to have her support in my life today.  It did not start out that way 19 years ago, but making the decision to put the past behind us a long time ago made room for an amazing friendship.  We have helped each other through many trials and hiccups in this world.  Our boys are better because of our decisions to be friends and take vacations together and spend time together when they were little.  Honestly, Jeff would not have it any other way.  Either we had to figure this out for the kids or I believe he would have locked us in a room until doomsday, it was that important to him.  So, if you are reading this blog and don't really know the whole story: Just know this... if you are divorced and have children.  Figure out a way to get along...  It may be a hidden gift in your world.  I am grateful for Shani... 

 

 

My dad actually rode down here with Shani, so we were super excited to see them both.  The little guys got to spend some much needed Gdaddy time with him and of course the big boys too.  We had a great time.  Saturday, the 18th was my dad's birthday and a day that we reflected back on from last year.  It was a year since Jeff's first strokes, the heart attack and him being admitted into ICU, My dad was also in the hospital last year on his birthday and my sister, Mel, was rushed to the hospital in early labor with Salah Michelle.  Thankfully, my dad was ok. Salah was born weeks later and was healthy and we thought that Jeff was on the mend.  Little did we know that it would be the beginning of the end of the world that we knew.  Jeff spent the next three months in Therapy learning how to make certain words again, dealing with the damage that the stroke left him with.  So, we decided to scatter the ashes into the Ocean with the family that was here with us.  It was difficult, but also provided us with a little bit more closure.. And seeing family was awesome...

 

 

I got to spend a little one on one time with each of the little guys and Brett and Zack while they were here also.  We had a great visit and of course hate to see everyone leave... We miss them so much, but getting back to life is the name of the game now.  Can't look back, have to go forward.  The pain that I experience some days is unbearable, but it does pass and I am reminded when I see all my guys under one roof that I have to keep it all together for me and them. 

 

 

 

Then, last night, Brett Zack and I got to go and hang out sitting on the deck at Pineapple Willy's, listening to the Ocean and the music and just chilling out... 

 

 

So, I leave you with this...  To my boys, all four of you; and Ryan and Zack...  !!!  Your daddy loved you to the sky and back again.  Live life, Love with all your heart, Dance in the rain...  Take chances, be yourself... never forget where you come from and what you have been taught.  Your Daddy was so proud of you each for your own accomplishments but more so because you are all a reflection of him, who he was and who will be in your hearts...